Dawson's Creek, Season 1, Episode 9: Road Trip

Dawson's still super depressed about his breakup with Jen so he goes on a road trip with Pacey and Billy to a bar in Providence where they've heard there is abundant college-girl ass. On the ferry there, they feloniously fuck up these guys' car in a pretty conspicuous manner and for some reason it's a really triumphant moment. Meanwhile, this jock named Warren is telling the whole school that he and Joey slept together, so she starts a rumor about herself that she's pregnant (WTF??? Seriously?????) to get back at him. At the bar, Dawson meets this film nerd girl named Nina and feels vaguely better about life. Jen and Joey come to a sort of understanding at the end with the help of cookie dough ice cream.
Quotes! Quotes! Quotes!

That will take you five more seasons
Dawson: "I don't think I've exceeded the statute of limitations on angst."

Oh snap!
Warren: "I'm on my way to school, do you want a lift?"
Joey: "No thanks, I'm waiting for Ted Bundy."

Joey: "He told me he loved me."
Abby: "$100,000 pyramid: 'Things guys say in the backseat.'"

Dawson to Billy: "We both got our hearts broken by the same girl, but at least Jen didn't flee the state to get away from me."

Pacey: "Everybody knows you're a regular Richie Cunningham. And Billy, he's the Fonz..."
Dawson: "Congratulations, that makes you Potsie."

Abby, on Warren: "Let's just say he had a soft spot for the ladies in a very unfortunate location."

Joey, you can be kind of a bitch sometimes
"Dawson, the neighbor girl dumped you. No one died. Just get over it."

to Jen: "Is that what Dawson was for you? Just some patsy to take the fall for all the guys who've done you wrong?"

Dawson's distorted self-perception
on Jen: "She rejected romance, honesty, and respect."

"Blind optimism is one of my faults."

More Dawson perception
Pacey: "Let me put it this way--you know how when cartoon characters are trying to make a decision and the good angel pops up on one shoulder and you get the little devil on the other? Well I don't have a good angel, Dawson. I just have you."

Nina: "You've launched into a pretty convincing Rain Man impression."

Joey: "Just picturing Dawson so... male. I don't know, it's made me nauseous all day."

That was awkward
Joey: "I may be virgin, but believe me, it's by choice."

Abby, on Joey: "Imagining what she'll look like with a bowling ball in her uterus? Don't bother."

Warren to Joey: "So is the air cold or are you just happy to see me?" [Nipple comments are always so charming.]

Billy: "For future reference, getting lucky comes down to a simple Beatles/Stones question. Do you want to hold her hand or do you want to spend the night together?"

Joey: "How do you know that Dawson and I haven't been going at it for years? I mean, we could be annotating the Kama Sutra for all you know."

From the Exists In Some Variation In Every Episode Of Dawson's Creek collection
Nina: "So what are you Dawson, some sort of film buff?"

It's a hard-knock life
Dawson: "What can I provide you with this time, Billy? A place to stay or just another chance to screw up my life?

Dawson: "It's tough to come up with creative moping strategies once I realize that everything I'm about is exactly what turned her off."

Joey to Jen: "I'm having an ice cream anti-social, you want to join me?"

Thesaurus Rex
Dawson: "There you go again, equating fun with youthful indiscretion."

Joey to Jen: "You don't care about me. You're just looking for some convenient revenge scenario to dump all your residual anger."

Pacey: "Generally speaking, you're better at verbiage than actual verbs."
Dawson: "Verbs?"
Pacey: "Yeah, action words: revel, carouse, party."

Pick-up lines
Nina: "My name is Nina. And if you ask me where Pinta and Santa Maria are, I'll be so out of here."

Pacey: "Hey there. I'm the drummer for Pearl Jam. You?"

<3MMJ