Dawson's Creek, Season 1, Episode 8: Boyfriend

This week Jen's bad boy ex from New York, Billy, rolls into Capeside and Dawson somehow gets roped into letting him stay at his house (in Dawson's room, people!!!). Dawson is understandably weirded out and insecure about this, and not understandably kind of a dickbag to Jen about her past. Joey is mad tired and stressed out 'cause of Bessie's new baby, and she goes to a party and gets wasted to blow off some steam. When Pacey and Dawson rescue her and take her home, she totally kisses Dawson on the mouth, but he's clueless as to what that might mean. In the end Jen decides she needs some me-time and breaks things off with both Billy and Dawson, and Dawson is bummed. Oh, and Dawson's parents are trying to get their marriage back on track by taking classes at the Y or something.
Quotes! Quotes! Quotes!

'Cause that's how TV works
Joey to Dawson: "Dawson, relax, don't worry about it. It's all going to blow over and you'll be onto bigger and better problems before you know it."

Fodor's Guide to Capeside
Pacey: "This town is the embodiment of dull. Apart from the occasional sex scandal provided by yours truly, nothing happens here."

Joey to Dawson: "Dawson, I hate to break it to you, but your problems really aren't that original. You know, divorce and dysfunction run rampant in this town."

Dawson's distorted self-perception
"See, in the 40's, you could be a well-intentioned geek and still end up with the girl. What ever happened to the standard Gary Cooper type? You know--likable without being too self-involved, smart without being arrogant."

"Let's face it, Dad, we're a couple of nice guys--which stopped being a desirable character trait about a half a century ago."

to Jen: "Of course, he's treated you with nothing but respect. But you know what, Jen, the last time I checked, so did I. And how do I get repaid? By having the guy who's had you everywhere from Battery Park to your parents' bed dumped on me as my new bunkmate." [Sooo respectful, right? Lording a woman's past indescretions over her is the height of caring and respect.]

"You know, for someone who views himself as a tragically nice guy, I spend a lot of time apologizing."

Thesaurus Rex
Billy: "You know what, I think that's where we disagree Dawson, because not only does it concern me, it concerns me gravely. So if there was ever a third and expendable wheel in this scenario, it would be you."

Oh snap!
Pacey to Joey: "Look Joey, I've never really taken a particular interest in your life because, frankly, your life has never been particularly interesting."

Pacey: "How do I look?
Joey: "Like a before picture in an ad for geek remover." [What is this geek remover? And how do I get some?]

Billy: "You're leaving me for a guy who's got an ET doll on his bed?"

Pacey rescuing drunk Joey from the party: "All right, Jo, say goodnight to the nice serial rapist man."

Dawson to Billy: "I assume you haven't tried to steal anything. You know, other than my girlfriend."

THANK YOU FOR EXPLAINING JOEY'S EXTREMELY SUBTLE MOTIVATIONS
Dawson to Joey: "I know it's been a tough week for you, you always trying to handle everything by yourself. Is that why you got drunk tonight, Jo? Because you needed a little break from your life?"

Pacey to Joey: "You have some raging hormonal obsession with our friend Dawson, and you just can't wait to get your hooks in him but good, can you?

Sing it, Mitch
"Anyone who's never been hurt is either very lucky or very lonely."

From the Exists In Some Variation In Every Episode Of Dawson's Creek collection
Jen: "Dawson, I know I've made some mistakes. But at least I don't live in a fantasy world where everyone is pure."

Dawson: "My life is rapidly becoming a punchline to some seriously disturbed joke."

Mitch: "Hey Dawson. How's it going?"
Dawson: "Complicated. You?"

Jen: "I'm pretty. I'm lucky. I'm fortunate. And I am still way too unhappy most of the time."

That was awkward
Mitch to Gail: "We've never tried swinging or spouse swapping--wouldn't that be more appealing to your recreational tastes?"

Dawson to Jen: "He's Mr. Got-Caught-Doing-It-In-Your-Parents'-Bed, isn't he?"

Um, duh
Dawson: "It's just that Mr. Smooth rolls into town, and all of a sudden bowling sounds lame."

Joey to Dawson: "I'm beginning to think relationship problems run in your family."

Gail: "I don't think scuba diving, water skiing or bungee jumping is the key to solving our problems."

Dawson: "Trust me, there's a difference between friendship and love."

THANK YOU FOR EXPLAINING THIS EPISODE'S EXTREMELY SUBTLE CONFLICT
Billy to Dawson: "This must be pretty weird for you. Having me here. Having your girlfriend's ex share your bedroom."

Heart!
MMJ