Dawson's Creek, Season 1, Episode 7: Detention

Everyone's rageaholics this week in Capeside. Jen gets in a fight with her teacher about euthanasia, Joey kicks the school football star's ass in the lunch room, Dawson breaks Pacey's nose with a basketball for calling him Oompa Loompa. They all end up in all-day detention with school bitch Abby and all kinds of shit comes to the surface. In a game of truth or dare Jen and Pacey kiss and then Joey and Dawson kiss. Joey pretty much admits to having the hots for Dawson and then has a freak out. Also, they play a game called "Guess My Butt" and the reason Pacey is in detention is that he was masturbating in the bathroom.
Quotes! Quotes! Quotes!

Oh snap!
Dawson: "Obviously if you won't tell me, you were talking trash about me."
Pacey: "Hey, I don't talk trash--I recycle."

Abby to Jen: "Ok miss Big Apple. If you wanna hang out with these backwater black sheep don't let me stop you."

Abby: "We should all play a game."
Pacey: "What do you want to play, pin the tail on the ho bag?"

Pacey: "At least you have a girlfriend. I have nothing left."
Abby: "You have your hand."

Um, duh
Pacey: "We used to call him Oompa Loompa."
Jen: "Oompa Loompa? What's that?

Abby: "It's just so punitive."
Miss Tringle, the librarian: "That's what detention is, punishment."

That was awkward
Joey to Dawson: "She might not choose the romantic doofus who woos her with flowers and cheesy poems. She just might choose the guy who has the faster car, or bigger bicep, or bigger [EYEBROW RAISED] joystick."

Jen to Dawson: "Let's do something wild this weekend. Like river rafting, or jumping out of a plane naked."

Abby, explaining why she's in detention: "Ever been to the boy's locker room? Ever heard of a little drug called ecstasy? Ever heard of an orgy?"

Real subtle, Joshua Jackson
Pacey, at the suggestion that the cast of The Breakfast Club hadn't made anything of themselves: "Emilio Estevez, he was in those duck movies, remember? God those were classics. So funny."

Joey, you can be kind of a dick sometimes
to Dawson: "This movie really threatens you, doesn't it?"

to Dawson: "If girls are so attracted to the romantic guys, then why won't Jen have sex with you?"

Joey: "Why do you have to be like this?"
Jen: "Like what?"
Joey: "So nice! God!"

So. Much. Angst.
Joey to Dawson: "If you're worried about everyone being more experienced than you, you can rest easy. You still have one friend who will probably go to her grave a virgin."

Jen: "Sometimes it feels like my whole life here's one great big detention that I can't escape."

THANK YOU FOR EXPLAINING THIS EPISODE'S EXTREMELY SUBTLE PREMISE
Dawson: "This is so Breakfast Club. You know the John Hughes movie where the five kids are stuck in detention all day?"

<3MMJ