Dawson's Creek, Season 1, Episode 5: Hurricane

Hello again Dawson's Creek. You have come back into my life in a dramatic and unexpected fashion just in time for me to watch you instead of doing my homework. Thank you.
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Season 1, Episode 5: Hurricane
This episode is a variation on the TV Trope "Snowed In," where the inhabitants of Capeside are bracing for a big storm, and Dawson, Jen, Joey, Grams, and Dawson's folks all end up at Dawson's house, and Pacey, Pacey's cop brother Deputy Doug, and Mary Kay Letourneau all end up at Mary Kay Letourneau's house. Dawson calls Jen a slut, sort of, which makes her sad. Dawson's mom tells his dad about how she's been banging her co-anchor which makes him sad. Mom and Dad have a Redemption In The Rain scene, 'cept without so much redemption. And Deputy Doug's hitting on Mary Kay, even though Pacey keeps saying he's gay which he probably is.
Quotes! Quotes! Quotes!

From the Exists In Some Variation in Every Episode of Dawson's Creek collection
Joey to Dawson: "Just for tonight, can we put our rapid ascent into adulthood on hold?"

Joey to Jen: "I think Dawson's having a life-defining turning point in his life right now." [It's about his life, okay, get it?]

Spielberg H. Christ
Dawson on Grams's favorite movies: "Frank Capra and Steven Spielberg are often compared for their thematic content."

Jen to Dawson: "Some of us aren't imaginary characters in a Spielberg film. Some of us live in reality." [This could also go in the "in every episode" section.]

Psychobabble
Dawson (finding Joey hiding in his closet): "What are you doing in there?"
Joey: "Just regressing for a moment."

Joey to Jen: "Dawson was wrong to spew his anger at his mom onto you."

Dawson's analysis of old movies: "Fears of abandonment turned into fantasy spectacles of security and joy."

Pacey to Deputy Doug: "Any therapist will tell you these are just mere repression tactics to mask your true homosexual desires."
[But seriously you guys, Deputy Doug knows everything about musicals. Talking to Mrs. Letourneau, he name-drops Ethel Merman and sings a verse of "What I Did For Love." Also, when Pacey calls him gay, he pulls his gun on him! All this might be indicating something.]

Grams, you bitch
"If the Lord decides to blow my house away, so be it."

Joey's preggers older sister: "We don't even know if it's going to be a girl or a boy."
Grams: "Or black or white."

"I used to be a big fan of motion pictures." [How old is this bitch, seriously? Does she drive a Model T?]

Super Prudes
Jen: "I was sexualized way too young, and I don't wish that on anybody. I mean, sex at such a young age more often than not is a bad idea." [Thanks Mom.]

Dawson to his mom: "I've got a new award for you, Mom. It's not a trophy, though. It comes in the form of an A, and [points to chest] you have to stitch it right here." [Calling his own mom a ho! In the nerdiest of ways! Awesome!]

That was awkward
Jen to Joey: "Do you think Dawson's got a pistol or a rifle?"

Thesaurus Rex
Dawson: "Is the proposition of monogamy such a Jurassic notion?"

Dawson's mom: "I discovered perfection obtained is a discomfiting state."

Dawson to Joey: "If you give me a chance to rectify my belligerent ways, I promise I will make every effort to be a friend worthy of you."

THANK YOU FOR EXPLAINING THIS EPISODE'S EXTREMELY SUBTLE THEMES
Dawson: "Everything's postponed because of the hurricane, my life included."
Joey: "Your life is a hurricane."

<3MMJ